Why Parental Control Apps Are Not Enough to Keep Our Kids Safe Online

We naturally want to protect our children from online dangers and inappropriate content. Parental control apps and features are often touted as the solution, allowing us to filter content, limit screen time, and monitor our kids' online activities. However, while these tools can play a role in online safety, relying on parental control apps alone are not enough to truly keep children safe online. Let’s take a deeper look at why “bolted-on” parental controls fall short, and what a more comprehensive approach to protecting our children should include.

The Limitations of Parental Controls

Parental controls can be useful, but they've got some serious technical and social limitations, making them insufficient as a standalone solution: 

Technical Limitations

• Easy Bypass: Our kids are smart, and many of them are finding ways around these controls faster than we can say "screen time." From guessing passwords to using VPNs, kids are getting ever more creative, sometimes using YouTube tutorials to discover how to bypass these restrictions.
• Incomplete Risk Coverage: Parental controls can't catch everything. They often fall short when it comes to cyberbullying, online grooming, or misinformation spread by peers on social media.
• Limited Reach: Many controls only work on home networks or specific devices. What happens when our kids use a friend's phone or a public Wi-Fi?
• Privacy Concerns: Some parental control apps collect extensive data on children's online activities, raising questions about data security and privacy rights.

Parent/Child Relationship Challenges

• Building Distrust: Over-monitoring can alter parent-child relationships and push kids to hide their online activities. This secrecy can actually increase risk, as children will be less likely to turn to parents when they encounter real dangers online.
• Technological Lag: Controls often don't keep pace with new apps and platforms. By the time parental control features are updated, kids may have already moved on to the next trending app.
• False Sense of Security: We might get complacent, thinking these controls keep our kids 100% safe. This can lead to fewer important conversations about online safety with our children
• Over-restriction: Poorly implemented controls can block access to educational resources or harmless content, preventing a child from safely experiencing the benefits of the internet.

A More Comprehensive Approach

Rather than relying solely on technological solutions, a more effective approach to online safety involves:

• Open Communication: Maintain ongoing, judgment-free conversations with your kids about their online experiences — both positive and negative. Create an environment where they feel comfortable coming to you with concerns.
• Balanced Screen Time: Instead of strict time limits, focus on ensuring digital use doesn't interfere with sleep, physical activity, schoolwork, and in-person social interactions.
• Positive Content Curation: Rather than just blocking "bad" content, actively guide kids towards high-quality, age-appropriate online experiences that align with your family's values.
• Use the Right Tools: While traditional parental controls have their limitations, innovative solutions like Angel Kids are changing the game. Angel Kids acts as a personal protector, a digital sibling, and a friendly guide for your child's online adventures, providing that crucial balance between autonomy and safety.

What Do the Experts Say?

We asked one of our child expert advisors, Rachel Ruiz, what advice she would give parents who are trying to take a more proactive role in monitoring their children’s online activities. Here’s what she had to say. Most parents feel safer when they’re constantly monitoring their child’s device, but you risk your instructions becoming background noise by overdoing it. 

Think of it as a quality over quantity approach. It’s better to have fewer, but more in-depth conversations about digital safety that stick with kids and encourage them to be in charge of their internet use and their safety. 

For a younger child, check in at the end of each device use and have simple, predictable questions such as: “Did you learn anything interesting online today? Did anything make you laugh or smile? Did anything make you feel upset or uncomfortable? Did you see or experience anything you want to talk to me about?”

For an older child, check in at the end of each week of device use and ask reflective, open-ended questions like: “How well did you balance device use with other activities this week? If anything made you uncomfortable, how did you handle it?”

Regular check-ins are a great time to bring up your concerns. For a younger child, you can use it as a “teachable moment.” With an older child, try asking them to come up with solutions or ways to resolve a concern first before you give suggestions.

We Can’t Forget The Role of Tech Companies and Policymakers

While parents play a crucial role, we shouldn't shoulder the entire burden of keeping kids safe online. Tech companies and policymakers also have important responsibilities:

• Designing kid-friendly platforms from the get-go (it's all about KidsTech)
• Providing easy-to-use safety features for family accounts
• Offering more nuanced content controls
• Enhancing detection of harmful content (Angel Kids is leading the charge here!)
• Being more transparent about their algorithms
• Developing age-appropriate digital literacy resources
• Enacting and enforcing stronger online safety regulations

The bottom line is: It's time to move beyond just restricting and surveilling. Parental controls can be an important tool in our digital parenting toolbox, but they're not the entire solution. By taking a more holistic approach that emphasizes education, communication, and gradual independence — and by leveraging kids-first solutions like Angel Kids —  we can better equip our children to harness technology's benefits while skillfully managing its risks. 

The Angel Kids Team